To love again

Who was she? I don't even know her anymore
Lying crying broken on the bathroom floor
She was stuck inside
A prison cell of tired and dirty lies

She said I'm gonna break free
Nothing and no one will ever have a hold on me
Ill be like a fighter wise strong and ready
I'm gonna break free

But God I hope she learns to love again
Let time take the fear and hope make her heart mend
To be loving but wise forgiving but crowned
Soft but strong with her feet on the ground
God I hope she learns to love again

He beat her up every single day
Tears were her drink
she was a bird in a cage
Her song faded away
Until the day when everything changed


She said I'm gonna break free
Nothing and no one will ever have a hold on me
Ill be like a fighter wise strong and ready 
I'm gonna break free

But God I hope she learns to love again 
Let time take the fear and hope make her heart mend
To be loving but wise forgiving but crowned 
Soft but strong with her feet on the ground 
God I hope she learns to love again

Life and love can knock us down
But don't lock down your heart or drowned out the sound
Of the truth that's been calling out to you
You're beautiful you're beautiful.  

But God I hope I learn to love again 
Let time take the fear and hope make my heart mend
To be loving but wise forgiving but crowned 
Soft but strong with my feet on the ground 
God I hope I learn to love again

White Flag

Pieces of me
Running from you
Trying to drown out your voice
I was fighting to go

In the opposite direction
Than the planet was spinning

I thought I'd die if I lost him
Holding on for dear life
So afraid of falling

We all fall down sometimes
But we can get back up again
I fell so hard and fast
Crashed and burned
And landed flat on my back
Don't wanna do that again
Maybe next time ill listen

You sent out a search light
And it landed on me
Found me almost dead in the darkness
You rescued me from
My final breath
I was limp in your arms
Your tears washed over me
Brought me my healing
I started to
Put one put in front of the other


We all fall down sometimes 
But we can get back up again 
I fell so hard and fast 
Crashed and burned 
And landed flat on my back
But you helped me get back up again 
Help me next time to listen

I was holding onto dear life for dear life
I buried myself in the arms of the One who made me 
And I'm stronger and I'm stronger 

So let a white flag be my banner 
Cause God knows I surrender
 So let a white flag be my banner 
Cause God knows I surrender
So let a white flag be my banner 
Cause God knows I surrender
So let a white flag be my banner 
Cause God knows I surrender

This is My Song

I tried to run away from you
It was all I knew to do
I was scared of getting hurt again
I was afraid of falling down
But you are the one that I love
You are the song in my heart
so I will sing and tell of my love
I will shout it out to the heavens up above
to the end of the world
This is my song

I will sing it
I will sing it
I will sing it
this is my song
I will sing it
I will sing it
to the end of the world
this is my song

God gave you to me
A gift so pure and free
So I will cherish with all that I have
I will grow and I will stand
on my own in the world
This is my song

I will sing it

I will sing it

I will sing it

this is my song

I will sing it

I will sing it

to the end of the world

this is my song

*SHINE*

I've been a shrinking violet
Hiding beneath the covers of my fears
I've been a pale wallflower
waiting for someone to ask me to dance
I've been holding out for the perfect moment
when the pieces come together
No more doubt no more hesitation
It is now or never to

Shine Shine
Shine Shine
in Glory like the sun

A butterfly must shed her cocoon
before she is free to fly
and I'm breaking out
of all that's held me locked inside
Oh how we burn the daylight we're given
as if we'll live forever
It's time to put aside our fears
and let the glory arise and

Shine Shine
Shine Shine
in Glory like the sun

You are the light of the world (like a city on a hill)
So let your light be seen by men (like a city on a hill)
Don't you know you're a child of the Most High
This starving world is in need of your light So

Shine Shine
Shine Shine
in Glory like the sun

Shine Shine 

Shine Shine

in Glory like the sun

Always

I know sometimes we feel so
Far away far away
But know always I am so
Close to you close to you
And I'm always thinking of you
I've always got you on my mind
I'm always thinking of you
I've always got you on my mind

Even if the sky falls
And the earth gives way
You'll be safe inside my heart always
Never will I ever leave you

Even if the stars fall down
You'll be safe in my arms
You'll be safe in my heart always


Don't cry tonight ill sing you a 
Lullaby lullaby 
Ill ask the moon to shine for you up
In the sky in the sky
And I'm always thinking of you
I've always got you on my mind
I'm always thinking of you

I've always got you on my mind


Even if the sky falls 
And the earth gives way
You'll be safe inside my heart always 
Never will I ever leave you
Even if the stars fall down 
You'll be safe in my arms
You'll be safe in my heart 

So make your home in my arms

Come live inside my heart 

Always

 

You Haikus.

You are over there
So far away from this place
But you feel so near

You can be my bed
Wrap me up in heavens kiss
Lay me down at night

You are so stubborn
Why can't you see more clearly
I won't spell it out

You kill me without
Using any real weapon
Except your silence

HOME.

HOME.

I've been craving something familiar
Old friends and eyes that I know
something familiar
Laughter I understand
Friendship that never fades
Old places and familiar streets
where the heartbeats match my heartbeat

So let it come like a wine
made from an orchard you own
like a romance that'll never fail
cause its homegrown
yeah I've been wanting
something to call my own
I think I'm just looking for home

We've known each other
a time or two before
But years passed and something's changed
Now I feel so safe and secure
You give me so much peace
You bring such hope to me
that all my dreams may finally become
a beautiful reality

So let it come like a wine 

made from an orchard you own

like a romance that'll never fail

cause its homegrown

yeah I've been wanting 

something to call my own

I think maybe I've found my home

Ive finally come back to where I belong

You are a sweet song that goes on and on and on

Sometimes you have to travel so far and so wide

before you finally realize

you're home

So let it come like a wine 

made from an orchard you own

like a romance that'll never fail

cause its homegrown

yeah I've been wanting 

something to call my own

I know I have finally found my home

Deepest Parts of Me

I so love that place where it's just the two of us and the world disappears and we go deep down into the waters, into the secret place.  We always dance on top of the ocean right on the waves...lately I just go as I am...  more so than ever before ...with the rawest honesty I have.  I trust him.  He won't reject me.  He won't stop loving me.  He always knows what to say.  He loves to take away my pain when I'm brave enough to let Him.  He loves to show me that His love and His power is bigger than my fear. I love His eyes and His face.  I want to let Him in to every corner every dark place where He can shine His light and bring healing and I always find Him and see Him in a greater way in those places.  Holy is our God.  So I wrote this song today as I was just worshipping Him.  

Deepest Parts

I don't have to hide 

I don't even want to try 

Anymore 

No more masks to cover me

Here I am in bare skin and free 

Cause You see through to the deepest parts of me 

You see through to places I can't even see 

Here I am again

Ready to let You in

Come into my heart 

And all the darkest parts of me, of me 

Cause you see through to the deepest parts of me 

You can see all the places I cannot see

Flowers and perfume fill every place 

When you come into every empty space yeah

And you call me beautiful

And you call me lovely 

And you call me and you call me and you call me 

You see through to the deepest parts of me 

You can see all the things I cannot see 

Flowers and perfume fill every place 

When you come into every empty space yeah

And you call me beautiful

And you call me lovely 

And you call me and you call me and you call me

I come running to you 

in the deepest darkest rooms  

And there I find you I find you I find you 

Holy holy holy

Worthy worthy worthy

And I find you and I find you and I find you.  

For the broken hearts

There are moments in life when the pain seems almost unbearable when you are so broken you are barely breathing. When its hard to get out of bed or to sleep or to eat or to just function normally.  I'm writing this song for people experiencing those moments.  Though it can be any loss tragedy or trial I specifically had in mind women who have experienced the death of their husband or divorce or a severe breakup.  Losing someone you love after a deep relationship can be the most painful moments in life but we really do come out on the other side and the pain does subside and we do heal and live and breathe and laugh freely again in time.  Though I don't know how people get through it without God.  He is truly our grace and our help in time of need.  

This song isn't finished but I wanted to post it anyway.  

I see your heart there in a million pieces

I've been there before too

When all your hopes And all your dreams

Come crashing down around you 

You've never felt pain like this

And now you're questioning all his promises

You're gonna have to fight Like you've never fought before

But you're gonna win Cause he's fighting for you even more

You're gonna make it through this

There is a light on the other side of the night

You're gonna make it through this

Right now he's holding you so tight

So don't give up and don't give in

You're gonna make it through

Right now it feels like the pain will never end 

But that is just a lie

Even now your heart is on the mend

It really will all be better in time

Even the memories will fade

And light will break forth with a brand new day

You will have joy you will laugh again

You will lift your hands and give thanks for what is and what has been

You're gonna make it through this

There is a light on the other side of the night

You're gonna make it through this

Right now he's holding you so tight

So don't give up and don't give in

You're gonna make it through

My Provider.

Trusting God to provide can be a tough place.  Whether it is for a hearts desire or finances waiting is not easy.  Patience according to gods word literally means waiting in joyful expectation.  That is the place of real trust in our Father but how easy it is when the waiting seems too long that we begin to experience despair and lose sight of the promises of God.  Sometimes I think the waiting is according to the size of the blessing.  Abraham was given such a huge promise from God but He had to wait for it.  How often we create Ishmaels In our lives because we don't have patience.  Hold on to hope.  Wait for the promise.  He is faithful.  

This is a song I wrote several years ago that I've been singing some lately!  Just a reminder that HE IS FAITHFUL.  I wrote this song after I came through a very hard season and began to see Gods blessing in my life.  It was like the dawn finally came but I wrote it as a reminder to myself that even in the hard times the desert places we can know without a doubt that the morning is coming!  Hold on to hope! 

As I wait for the fulfillment of His provision and promises in several areas of my life, I am reminding my soul to hold on to hope- the expectation of good things- and to be patient- to wait in joyful expectation! He is good!  He is faithful!  

"Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning!" - ps. 30:5 

Jehovah

When my life is like a desert

Lord You are my oasis

When I'm down to barely living 

You sustain me

When it seems all hope is gone

Ill look forward to the dawn

For I know 

The Lord my God

He is faithful

Jehovah jireh

My Provider

Jehovah Rapha

You're healing me

Jehovah Nissi

You go with me

You are you are 

My Jehovah God

In the presence of my enemies

You prepare a table before me

And you lead me through 

the valley of the shadow

In the middle of the darkest night

Oh I can see the light

For I know The Lord my God

He is faithful

Jehovah jireh

My Provider

Jehovah Rapha

You're healing me

Jehovah Nissi

You go with me

You are you are 

My Jehovah God

Hear the recorded song on iTunes as well as a choral version.  

River in My Heart

I am really excited about this new blog!  

This blog is dedicated to my creative self.  

It is a channel for the 

river in my heart 

to flow out and be heard.  

Since I was a little girl I have loved music.  I love to sing write songs and poetry and I even love visual art.  Over the past few years I have dedicated almost all my energy towards founding a ministry, my other passion.  I have given my heart and soul towards sharing the love of the Father with children in need.  You can read all about that story here on my other blog.  While my experience serving in Africa has brought me so much joy and has been so enriching to my life, I began to neglect the river of creativity that was flowing inside of me.  I began to create less and less.  When I did try to create, it wasn't from the same place.  

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.  ~Victor Hugo

However, I am coming back to the river, to swim and drink and let it flow again!  :)  And Im so happy about it.  I can feel the smile of God on this too.  God told me recently that I made one of my greatest passions a side dish instead of a main course in my life, so this is one of my first steps back towards living as the artist that I am.  

I am also thankful for all the experiences I have had working as a missionary the past several years.  I know these deep and rich experiences will continue to fuel my writing as well.  May I  be a voice for the voiceless!  

This blog is going to be my journey...messy wild and free.  I invite you to come with me as I journey back to this place and back to using a gift of writing and creativity again.  Back to a place of soaking in the rivers within and letting them flow out and create life.  Here I'll post my poetry, song lyrics, my thoughts on the process, and any other random things that flow out.  :)  I would love your feedback and comments along the way!  Feel free to subscribe and comment or leave me any resources or links that might help me out as I go.  

I recorded and released a project in 2009 which you can purchase now on itunes here.  I hope to have new projects not too far in the future!  This feel so good!  

Here we go!!!!!  Get excited!!!  I know I am!  :)